


Better Than A Ferrari

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Avengers Family, Getting Together, Human Disaster Clint Barton, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 14:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21137876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Clint often had bad ideas, but they usually didn't include asking Tony to down a lethal amount of caffeine. Fortunately, Nat's only a phone call away to give him more good advice than he bargained for.





	Better Than A Ferrari

Nat wasn't very fond of being woken up without a good reason. Good reasons included: assassins, aliens, and other fights. This was none of them, because Steve as the one calling on her regular phone, not the Avengers ID. "What," she snapped. 

Because Captain America was a big baby, he actually hesitated. As if _ now _ was the time to hesitate instead of before he woke her up. Fortunately he manned up before she could get even more annoyed. "Clint and Tony are matching shots." 

"I thought Tony was sober," she said, heart sinking. It was one thing for Clint to make a mess of his own life, it was quite another for him to drag Tony down with him. 

"What? Oh! No no no, they're doing shots of espresso." 

"That's fine," she said, relief making her feel even more tired than before. 

"But-" 

She hung up on him, then snuggled into her pillow. Then sighed and reached for her phone, calling Clint. Past experience had taught her that a highly caffeinated Clint would wake her up, and she didn't want to deal with that today. Plus it's not like Clint could die from a caffeine overdose, but Tony had a heart condition, and he definitely could. Tony was normally capable of taking care of himself, but he tended to lose perspective when he was trying to impress Clint-- like that time he'd put knock-out gas in arrows just because Clint had mentioned it in passing one day. 

"Hey! Nattie-Nat, what's up?" 

"Steve told me you're taking shots with Tony." 

"Not the alcoholic kind, I'm not _ that _ big an asshole." 

"Yeah, well stop it anyways. Tony has a heart condition, you're going to send him into cardiac arrest." 

Clint rolled his eyes. "He knows his limits Nat, it's not like I'm forcing him." 

Natasha sighed. She was far too tired for this. "Tony's in love with you," she said, because it seemed like the quickest way to get Clint to listen to her. 

"He is not," Clint said, tone kept light so that Tony wouldn't know the turn the conversation had taken. 

"If he's staring at you with love-struck eyes right now, he is." 

There was a pause as Clint glanced at him. Sure enough, Nat was right. Clint had never really thought of that as Tony's love-struck expression before, but he did look to be enjoying himself more than was strictly necessary. "Yeah I'll think about it," he said, and Nat took that to mean that he finally saw it. 

"Good. Don't die." She hung up. Good lord this bed was the most comfortable place on the planet. 

Upstairs, Clint set the espresso machine back on the counter and ignored Tony's pout. "Aw, c'mon we were only up to six! What happened to 'no one can drink more coffee than me and live?" 

"I was reminded by the lovely Black Widow that you have a bum ticker, and if I inadvertently killed her spa buddy she would never forgive me." 

Tony's smile flickered, there and gone so quickly Clint almost missed it. "Right. Well if we're not going to OD on caffeine, I should probably get down to the 'shop." 

"Oh no you don't," Clint said, grabbing an arm around Tony's waist as he tried to pass. Tony wasn't expecting it, so he wound up falling onto Clint's lap. "You promised me a day of stupid fun, you don't get to run away just because the first activity got cut short." 

"An entire day?" Steve repeated, already looking tired at the thought. 

"You're not invited," Clint said quickly. 

Tony, knowing full well that they had no such plans, said, "Well if I promised, who am I to put an end to the fun prematurely?" 

"Absolutely no one." 

Tony nodded, getting to his feet. 

Clint's lap felt cold now, but it's not like he was going to drag Tony back down. "Later Cap." 

After they were in the elevator-- doors closed but not moving since neither of them really knew where to go-- Tony asked, "So do you have plans now or did you just want to stop me from running away?" 

"Mostly it was to stop you from running away, but if you think you're going to keep trying it we can have plans." Tony said nothing. "Seriously, we were having fun and then you just bail." 

"You're the one that canceled in the middle of our contest," Tony pointed out. "J, bring me to the 'shop." 

"This counts as running away." 

"How? You're with me, who the fuck am I supposedly running away from?" 

"Right, cause you're not going to find some reason to kick me out after we're there for twenty seconds." When Tony had nothing to say in his defense, Clint sighed and threw an arm around his shoulder. "Here's the part that confuses me. Nat says you like like me, and she's probably not wrong, because when is she ever? But if you _ do _ like me, why are you trying to run away? See my point?" 

Tony had gone rigid after he said the thing with Nat. "Natasha should keep her theories to herself." 

"You should thank her, she brought it to my attention before you killed yourself in a coffee contest." 

Tony cleared his throat. "Right." 

Clint glanced over at him to ask if he was okay, then stopped. Tony's face was hot with shame, and it looked like he was going to have angry tears in a few minutes unless Clint did something. Fast. "You know I like you, right?" 

"Course you do. I'm everyone's favorite billionaire benefactor slash teammate," Tony said, more than a little bitterness in his voice. 

"You're going to make me go all middle school about this aren't you," Clint said, as if he hadn't used similar terms to describe Tony's feelings for him a minute earlier. When Tony just looked confused-- and slightly bitter from whatever it was going on in his head-- Clint sighed and said, "I like like you, and not for any of the reasons you said. Mostly it's because you're an idiot and hilarious. Do you know how hard it is to find funny people in this town? A guy could go through a drought here." 

"How am I an idiot? Not saying you're wrong, but you of all people aren't one to judge." 

"I'm not saying that I judge you, but you are. Just like I am," Clint said with a grin. "It's why we'd be so great together." 

"You're not good at this." 

"Good at what?" 

"Asking people out." 

"Okay, technically Tony, that wasn't me asking you out, that was me letting you know that you shouldn't panic just because i know that you like me. But if you want to go on a date, let me know cause I've got a list of shitty recommendations from Spiderman that I need to check out." 

"Doesn't he mostly eat with Deadpool?" 

"Yeah the list is mostly Mexican food of dubious origin, but at least if Spiderman's had it we know it's not poisonous." 

"Sounds like fun, but not for tonight because I do actually have shit to get done." 

"What kind of shit? Can I come? I don't have anything to do today and if I bother Nat I feel like she'll tell Bucky I want to spar." The last time he'd sparred with Bucky he couldn't walk straight for a week, and it was because he'd hurt his leg, not, like, fucked him really good or anything. Which is a shame because it's been a while since Clint got dicked down. "Maybe you and I should spar," Clint said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "If you know what I mean." 

"I think at this point my pliers know what you mean," Tony snorted, but he hopped up on one of the empty tables and leaned back, legs spread just a touch too wide for if he was lounging casually. 

Clint was never one to turn down an open invitation like that, so he walked over, slotting into the open space easily. He tilted his head down a little, and Tony tilted up, and then Clint was kissing the richest thing he'd ever put his lips to-- the previous record holder was a Ferrari, but Tony was infinitely better. 


End file.
